I am my own worst enemy. I do and then I ask why. Shouldn't it be the other way around? Ask the question, weigh the pros and cons and then come to a sensible answer. If I had half the brain they say I have, wouldn't I ask the obvious question before making my final answer? That would solve 99% of all my problems. Which would effectively make my life a near perfect place to be. So do I wait to answer until after the question is asked?
Apparently my sense of self-preservation has not learned to listen to either my left or right brain. I'm not really sure if it listens at all. Or if I even have any self-preservation. I suppose since I obviously have no common sense over my own will, I shouldn't be held accountable for the shameless dither that my brain spouts out through my mouth. Or the unending actions of self-destruction I manage to do on a more than daily basis. Yet if my sense of self-preservation hasn't kicked in after thousands of slap downs, will denial of accountability hurt or help? If no one is to blame then no one can complain. If I complain, then who accepts the blame? On the off chance that I stumble upon some stray morsel of good that I've done, is no one the glory finder? Because if I can't blame my lack of self-preservation for the hideous aftermath that is my life, then I can't scream for recognition of that one moment of glory.
People wonder why I'm quiet sometimes. It's hard to have a serious conversation with someone when you are having one with yourself.